Psycholonials par FYNMORPH

The VN software

The player software is pretty bad, you can't skip the slow transitions or fast forward, they should have just used Renpy or something lol.

Chapter 1 Mood, what could have been

I like the setting, the realism and how relatable chapter 1 is better.

I felt it more relatable to see Zhen being in depression. I liked the writing of Zhen having his name being mispronounced all the time vs Abby who never had this issue. Maybe I would have liked a story that talks more about this, how different people grow up and how that ends up influencing who's successful or not. This could have created a nice contrast between the two characters of Z and Abby.

The Chapter 1 is truly the only one that's depressing. I like the whole bit of Z accepting herself as Zhen at the end, I think this could have been the central subject of the VN (instead of whatever it was lol?).

https://i.imgur.com/9wxpqbx.png (first log of Z and Percy)

That's probably one of my favorite log. The way Z talks to percy is just too funny to me. i'm just a sucker for simps / flirty / rancy convos. Also the writing where she takes a selfie of the puke, then she ends up taking a selfie of herself with it to prove to him. That's a nice way to write into that even though Hussie didn't do anything with it. Hussie is just good at writing online trolling.

I dont like the whole cop thing and Z killing the cop.

That's such a tone shift in chapter 2, i had better expectations. It really felt like a pretext. There's character inconsistencies, chapter 1: Z is shown as depressive and doesnt do anythign all day, in chapter 2 it's revealed she's been catfishing Abby's mom for like a year?

Text bloats

I don't like most monologues in this.

First it's always ambiguous how seriously you have to take Z's words, like are those Hussie's words? Or just a pretext to show Z rambling. I think the last one (https://i.imgur.com/wy2y8Jq.png the epilogue letter in the bottle) you can read as advices from Hussie. The rest idk man.

I hate all the 'technical' talks

https://i.imgur.com/OdltZIU.png image of Joculine talking. Spare me the pointless walls of text. Talking about logistics or your plans or whatever. It really does a bad job (for me) at making it be more believable. The upheaval is just not realistic, nor do their plans sound smart. Why does everything happen in such a short timespan also lol. Hussie could have let the story develop over 5 years or smth

Minor writing issues

Lowkey andrew hussie trying to write two young women having a casual girl chat is kinda cringy

I never got cringy vibes from like, callie and roxy and jade's interactions or like rose and kanaya from homestuck. Like calling each other 'sluts'. Girls dont really do that thats a gay boy thing. Also irl when girls talk about their sex life the focus is on the men they had sex with ( what does he do? what was he like in bed? how big was it ) Its not like " haha one more for the roster huh 😏 i dont even know whos the biggest slut now "

I dont get why hussie likes to let the reader makes 2 or 3 branching points.

Does he like this gimmick? (In the end you discover that you can't choose anything, which is a nice mechanical twist? But I don't feel like it really does anything to the plot overall)

Also more clown and horse bs in the story, I think those kinds of private jokes are more of a disservice to the story but Hussie will just always do that.

Morality

I dont like how much they antagonize their parents (from chapter 1-3).

They say stuff about robbing them, killing them? (through covid?). That seemed really heartless, not just immature. Then on chapter 7 they get dramatic when they actually die. The plan really is to just taking advantage of the trust/love their parents have for abby, which makes the whole plan just feels weak? Likewise, how Z builds up her brand she's just riding the coattails of Abby which I felt like was disappointing.

Z and Abby are like the caricatures of the radical left that think anyone who is rich is evil?

Does Z really believe she killed the cop was auto defense? That's just awkwardly written idk.

https://i.imgur.com/r01xvaX.png Z sending the order to kill them

In chapter 7, I think the VN is trying to narrate how tragic Z's fell into immorality (when she decides to kill people off the list), but i dont rly buy it because she already did evil stuff way earlier? idk. Its not very gradual per say.

Misc

https://i.imgur.com/tbga6oT.png image of Riotus

Riotus dreams are cool tho. I liked the whole revelation of the bigger plan, the alien thing, the lineage. I think I like more when Hussie tries to do worldbuilding (like the clown gender thing, that was a bit funny i guess?)

I wished Hussie had the balls to write what Z got cancelled for lol.

So in the end the story ends with the moral to look out for love, to stop 'covering up' (through social media etc..), when the story was mainly about how capitalism is awful, how you have a moral responsibility to fight or something? mhh...