Don't Give the Boy Next Door Your Cookies

So I hesitated to write a critique since I write in English, but why not practice on the worst film ever? Where do I even start?

Cinematography and Plot:

The filming was horrible. You can tell whoever filmed the movie tried their best to be creative, but it just did not work. Sighs. I can't write a good review for this film or even anything interesting to read, as the film had no real content and a very predictable formula. In the first few minutes I told my husband exactly what would happen to who, and it did.

Things that don't make sense:

Noah says he is 19, but is still in high school? It happens, but it only happened in this film to make Claire look like less of a Perv. Kevin is supposed to be about the same age, but a bit younger. Perhaps a couple of years younger, but yet he looks like he is in high school and Noah looks like a full grown man? After all, Ryan Guzman was born in 1987, so do you really expect us to buy that he is a high school boy?

Meanwhile later on.... Could someone explain why Kevin's date (Allie) was in Noah's bedroom getting busy a few hours after the dance? Did this really need to be in the film? There was no indication this was going to happen and then no talk of it after. A useless time filler.

Lack of Character Morale:

Even though Noah is clearly a psychopath I have a very difficult time feeling sorry for Claire (J. Lo) because she had sex with him. Let's review the facts she knew before she made this boneheaded decision. He is in high school. He will possibly be a student in her classroom. She seems utterly entranced in the sex scene, yet just a few hours later she freaks out finding herself naked in his bed. That doesn't make any sense! In reality she would have been more conflicted. By the way, where did Noah get the sexual experience of a 45 year old man??? Ahh, another wonderful J. Lo film. Just think Jenny From the Block - if he were just two years younger you could have called the film, "50 Shade of Prison Cell Grey."

Special Effects:

Now for my favorite. The violent scenes. I typically can not stomach any violence in films, but this was laughable. I did better special effects in my first film class in college! Vicky's dead body did not convince me. And Claire just kept shining her flashlight on her screaming. Another sigh. Then, saving the best for last...Noah getting stabbed in the eye with the EpiPen. Sure I turned my head because eyes gross me out, but after I laughed. I almost felt like there was a ketchup bottle behind his eye socket. Do you want to bang him now Claire? Maybe you can get him an eye patch and sail the mean seas. Him as a psycho pirate and you as his wench.

Horrible film. Cinematography = Horrible Plot = Horrible Acting = Horrible Moral = Horrible