Queen of Youtube

Bon allez je comptais pas faire ça aujourd'hui mais pour fêter les 1 milliard de vues sur Youtube de Call Me Maybe, je vous partage cette oeuvre d'art. Avec ça je vous promets que personne n'oseras plus jamais critiquer vos choix musicaux aussi douteux soit-il. Evidemment même si il faudrait pour respecter la tradition Canadienne, je ne traduis pas parce que en VF ça perdrait toutes sa saveur. Ou j'ai la méga flemme au choix. Promis si CMM récolte 2 milliards de vues je transposerais le texte en Français.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about Carly, you little bitch? I’ll have you know she graduated top of her class in Canadian Idol, and she has been involved in numerous song releases on the internet, and she has over 300 confirmed awards. She is trained in musical theatre and she’s the top singer in the entire Western hemisphere. You are nothing to her but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this subreddit, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about her over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of stans across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, potty-Trainor. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your internet account. You’re fucking dead, kid. She can be anywhere, anytime, and she can slay in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with her bare vocals. Not only is she extensively trained in social media and vocals, but she has access to the entire arsenal of the United Legion of Homosexuals and will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. She will bring vocals and you will drown in them. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

C'est absolument pas une copypasta bien sûr, promis dans 6 mois je fais une vraie critique. Peut-être.