Dear Harry,
It's over. We've had our ups and downs, but really, after all these years, that's that. I'm sorry you had such a hard time with Snape, Voldemort, and those funny guys with a proclivity to destruction and wearing black, but frankly, it's about time you got contact lenses. Life isn't so bad. Stop boring me already with your half-baked crises. If you're fighting some guy, riding on dragons, and whipping around magic spells only to get a desk job and make babies, perhaps you should consider seeing a therapist instead.
P.S. - I really like your friend, the redhead who doesn't get to say much. He's keeeewwwwlll!!!
P.P.S. - Why didn't you just make nice with Voldemort? He's so lonely and insecure, with only a snake as a friend.
P.P.P.S. - Neville's haircut is better than yours.